3 years since Diagnosis (5/4/2021)

The deformities left behind by surgery once made me cringe now the empower me. Take you’re power back. change the narrative! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

3 years and 4 hours ago a Navy Admiral who lacked bedside manner said “ Well, you have breast cancer, probably Invasive ductal carcinoma. We will need to set up your surgery and chemotherapy. See the front desk and have a great weekend”

WTF, WTF, do you want me to do?!?!?!

That is all I could think when the words came out of his mouth. I was in shock, disgust and yet, I expected this response.

I remember it was a Friday, May 4th at 3:03pm when my phone turned back on from being off, for the last 3 hours in the doctors office. I couldn’t breath or think all I could do was FEEL. Feel ALL of it. FEEL, like there was a huge boulder crushing me from the inside out, and the outside in.

All of those emotions, and experiences have lead me to where I am today and I could not be any more freaking happy. Sometimes it takes a life altering event to ( get this) alter your life because you are so stuck in your ways.

I will not say I am “GLAD or HAPPY” I was diagnosed with Cancer. I will say I have so much freaking gratitude and appreciation towards the experience, towards the people who have entered my life since the experience of breast cancer.

Today, we go dancing to celebrate the bad ass bitch who was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago and held her shit together to do homework with 2 children in grade school. Who sat back and kicked it in the tub drinking wine, making a bucket list because if I am going down, I am going down having F*@#%& fun! There was NO WAY a diagnosis was going to ruin my last 2 weeks in HAWAII! Love every day you never know what tomorrow has to offer.